What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

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So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

True - how I loved my mum!

What! how could you do that?

Why do democrats want to believe that Trump wasnt hit by a bullet in the rally? Dont they know that you cant load a sniper rifle with glass intead of bullets?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

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She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Do you know what she said mum?

Why do I get bored with porn so quickly? I can watch maybe half a video (5 mins max) and then get bored and do something else. I don't watch porn often, just a teenager. 17.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?